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The Navy Lark - The Redundancy Drive


'If there's one thing Captain Povey really enjoys its getting to his office every morning, and if you've every met Mr Povey you can understand his enthusiasm. But for Old Thunderguts Portsmouth dockyard isn't the place where he has to slave over a hot desk, its sanctuary. However this morning his desk is incredibly hot - at least the signal from the Minstry of Defence thats lying on it most certainly is. Not that he'll see it immediately because his secretary, WRN Chasen, opens all the mail - and she knows a Top Brass Whizbang when she sees one. So its at the bottom of the pile of codswallop the civil servants will insist on sending....'


Povey receives a signal about redundancies of older personnel and is irrate until he realises his job is safe, and then delighted when he works out he can use this signal to get rid of Troutbridge's No.1 Commander Murray, ' Once I get rid of him, the rest of that shower on Troutbridge will fall like house of cards!'

On board Troutbridge, No.1 receives word of Povey's attempt to make him redundant and is understandably angry and shocked. The signal Povey received stated that sea-going officers over a certain age are elligible for redundancy

'Just a minute, why only me. How old are you Mr Phillips?'

'Me err... Oh I'm err... I'm err - twdiddlyumpty 4!'

Murray vows that he will fight Povey all the way - willingly backed up by CPO Pertwee when he realises Mr Phillips might be promoted to Captain of the ship!!

Murray storms into Povey's office, whos meeting with the admiral, and after berating Povey is told by the Admiral that he can appeal the decision at an appeals board taking place later that month.

At the appeal board, Murray has found himself accompanied by SL Phillips, who is going to appear as his character witness.

'Nothing to worry about. Leslie is here Sir'

'That is precisely what I am worried about!'

They are shown inside and introduced to the board, Captain Ormanroy, LC Whetherby, Captain Atcherson and The Admiral. Povey makes his case, Lt Murray is over the age stated in the signal, twdiddlyumpty 6, and so should be made redundant.

Then Mr Phillips starts to speak... at lenght.... about nothing tha makes sense

'Mr Phillips what are u talking about?'

'I've no idea Sir - but Im hoping they havn't either. I'm just collecting my thoughts'

'Well that shudn't take long!'

Mr Phillips then explains his interpretation of the signal - that it only applies to officers that have been sea-going for twdiddlyumpty 6 years, not ones who are twdiddlyumpty 6 years old.

The board are convinced by Mr Phillips 'argument' and agree that Murray will not be made redundant, but that Povey might be!

'Do u mean that what I said actualy made sense?'

'I realise its a terrible shock - but yes!'

'Cor - I am proud'

Taking part were:

WRN Chasen - Heather Chasen

Captain Povey - Richard Caldicot

Commander Murray - Stephen Murray

CPO Pertwee - Jon Pertwee

SL Phillips - Leslie Phillips

The Padre - ?Michael Bates?

The Admiral - Tenniel Evans

Captain Ormanroy - Laurie Wyman

LC Whetherby - Jon Pertwee

Captain Atcherson - Michael Bates

Written By: Laurie Wyman

Produced By: Alastair Scott Johnson